Friday | 1:24 AM | 0 Said
Today, i would like to share stories about my life in this semester. I have been thru a lot of things in this sem. It's not pathetic but it's a memory. 19/7/2017 where it's my last day in semester 2.
March, I just learnt that sometimes i need to be alone since i live alone (without friends) in the house (our college provided houses like apartment something like that). I live with seniors. It started not very well cause i got no friends. I stay quiet in the room. Crying (LIKE A BABY GOD) untill one day i called my friend (the one who always with me) and told her everything. She said "erin, you have to adapt now that u got no friends. U have to be independent. Stop being like a baby. You can do it." I feel relieved and wrote a letter for myself. I told myself that today (that day) is the last day that i'll cry. If i feel sad about this again. I'll read this letter. It sounded funny actually but it worked. I read and read until i get used to live alone. It's not bad at all. It felt like I can do whatever i want to do without asking others permission or everything. Without bothering people or vice versa. haha and yeah it goes well.
April, I met new friends. Last sem, I have a bunch of friends where i love them cause they're fun. But we got crisis. On March, I decided to be alone (not a loner, just alone) since we are seperated. so it's not a big deal to handle this problem. Back to new friends. We started to get along. To get to know each other. They're fun too but more fun. No hating no disliking. I started to love em. Yeah April is the best month ever!!!!!
May PART 1, everything's okay. HAHA BUT NOT AT ALL CAUSE SOMETHING HAPPENED. My friend had a huge fight with his boyf. Im not saying that i dont care about her. I do care but I got no boyf or experience like that so i CANT do anything. I am bad friend tbh. But she, she's really being egoistic. i dont want to blame her all. But that day hurt me. I had a fight with her. She told us that "we doesnt even understand her". OOOOOOOOOOOKAY
May PART 2, Me and my friends, were planning to get on a strict exercise which we HAD to follow the rules. LOL it pretty damn went well until one night i got injured. That night changed everything. Everything include feelings. My friend (who is a guy) helped me a lot. I dont know how to thank him. I really dont. He helped me by sending me home (which it's far away from my college) We stayed a night. Next day, we really enjoyed until that night when i arrived at college. My leg's felt so
hurt and i had to asked my friend (that guy lmao) to send me to the hospital. Doc asked me to come to the hospital the next day to xray me. I say ok if my friend is ok LOL YEAH HE SEND ME HOW COULD IM BEING CRUEL WITHOUT ASKING PERMISSION FROM HIM LOL!!! Btw he's ok. Next day changed everything. Actually i started to like him. Not just because hes being nice to me. Few things that i like him. Not gonna mention it. but yeah hes the guy that made me cry for the first time. OMG this is confession. haha. Back to the story, i dont know what happened to him. Someone or whatever whores idk who unsatisfied with him cause he didnt came up in an event (our course's family day) I WAS LIKE DUDEEEE HE HELPED ME. But nahhhh i cant say more. He shut me down Idk. I felt sad actually. Yeah i cried. Until one day, idk. He talked to me like nothing happen. HAHA damn this boy. I wanted to be mad at him to show him how sad i am but i cant cause i got no reason.
June, it happened again guys. My friend who said "WE DONT UNDERSTAND HER" repeated the same damn sentence but this time it's for me. haha it's because shes being annoyed suddenly so i directly asked her "whats wrong with you" she said "whats wrong with me? whats wrong with you? you know my situation right now and now u dont understand me" DUDE IT'S WRONG TO ASK SOMEONE WHATS WRONG WITH HER OR HIM? I JUST ASKED. This month, she had a huge fight with my friend (other friend i dont care abt her much lol cause i really dont and all about her it's not my problem). I do understand her feelings. I really do. I cant do anything. Its you between her. You're so miserable that day. Idk whether it's my fault. But you the one told me that "I AM A DIRECT PERSON. IF SOMEONE IS UNSATISFIED WITH ME. I WILL ASK HER/HIM DIRECTLY" LOL SOUNDS LIKE THAT. SO I ASKED. Maybe it's wrong time. yeah maybe. It broke my heart into pieces you know. U said to me that I dont understand u well i actually do. That day it changed me. I told my other friend "if she wants me to not understand her. i give her what she wants." I started to be alone. Just like on March. Be alone. Friend with whoever i want to. That time, i find peace. What the differences to be with the old gang and the new gang if problems keep waiting for me? I should just be alone. like we say "gerak solo". hahahaha. it's not for the loner. we friend with others but we prefer to be alone. sound like introvert. yeah i found myself is an introvert person sometimes. and sometimes extrovert. haha
July, it's raya dude and final. nothing happened. it did actually but i dont mind cause you know once u "gerak solo" youll never bother urself with problems. yeahh.
END OF SEMESTER 2. SO YEAH :)
To my friends, I love you guys no matter what. "Jahat mana pun seseorang itu, pasti ada baiknya dia. Carilah ketenangan sebelum anda lihat seseorang itu, pasti anda akan melihat kebaikannya. Jika hati anda kotor, anda akan melihat segala kekotoran pada dia." Sebab tu kawan, aku masih menganggap kamu kawan walaupun banyak yang telah melukakan hati aku. Aku pendam dan pendam sampai akhirnya aku sendiri jatuh. Tapi aku masih tetap anggap kamu kawan. Tidak kira lah berapa kejahatan pun yang kamu telah lakukan. Aku tetap melihat kamu seorang kawan. Walaupun kadangkalanya ia menyakitkan. Tetapi hey, siapa tak pernah buat salah kan. Cuma agak terluka bila kamu lari dari aku walhal salahnya dari kamu sendiri. Kenapa? sebab kamu sendiri tidak nampak akan salah kamu. Kamu terlalu ego untuk sedar kesalahan kamu. Takpe. Aku disini masih menunggu mu :)